The fundamental error in Mental Health
The Libya model equilibrium model.
Therapeutically this could be very useful
The version model aversion model. Dionis model the illness model.
Develop various ideas about how there could be different models used to describe the various adaptive or maladaptive ways that people develop their functioning over time.
Think about how we manage conflict
The need to get in the last word
How we feel if we say nothing
Like we’re being trodden on / abused / disregarded etc
This is a major factor in our choices how to act
Therapeutically this could be very useful
Choose a very obvious area of disfunction and draw out the underlying thought processes behind the actions
This will show how people function and what drives them
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Avoid
Avoidance and Resilience
What Path to Choose In my left hand I have a blue pill….
The fundamental error in Mental Health
Avoid
That if you fix the cause of poor mental health, everything else will magically resolve itself
Behaviours get set into place, are reinforced, encouraged even over a long period of time
The original cause may well be what sets you onto a certain path of
How you see the world
Self esteem
Behaviour patterns
Belief patterns
And the result of all of these is then how you experience the world, and what causes you to feel the way you feel
There is also the danger that you were already travelling down that path. That’s what made you vulnerable in the first place
But they have become entrenched over a long period of time.
Even the way you can come to terms with previous or historical abuse will often mean changing how you see the world…in the here and now
And very often, abusive, or difficult situations are not single events
There may be specific stand out events, but in the majority of cases, they happened over a period of time, and were deeply embedded over that time
So think logically, do you work to reset all of the stuff that happened to you, or do you look for a path to health
Your entire world has adapted around you, and formed around the way you function, and see the world
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This is what then creates your current quality of life
The original event was simply a fork in the road…that led you down certain pathways of thinking and being
Get out of jail free card
“Being judgemental”
Impossible to refute. Can be used in any situation
I don’t have to consider this because I have already judged you to have the wrong attitude, and therefore anything you say will be evidence of you’re judgemental attitude, and therefore not valid
Don’t be under the illusion that people are non judgemental. They may come across as accepting and non confrontational
Don’t judge the idea solely by the person
In other words if you dislike, or have little respect for someone, we then have a tendency to disregard what they say, and dismiss their thoughts.
They may talk a lot of rubbish
But in the midst of that, there may be actual gems hiding
A clock is right twice a day. People can be the same
How to manage overthinking
Think about the habit-forming nature of overthinking. How to break these habits by disrupting the thinking pattern by shifting your thought processes comma by distracting and mindfulness and focusing on other thoughts or activities. Visualisation put a powerful image in your head that then disrupt the thinking pattern
What are the underlying Dynamics of overthinking. poor self-esteem. lack of sense of self. Lack of self-confidence. lack of confidence in ideas or beliefs. Overvaluing the thoughts ideas and opinions of other people over your own.
these our own very much part of the same package.
what are some techniques that would be very useful to stop overthinking
what are some ideas that you can use to shift the need to overthink
is.it purposeful. will it actually achieve anything.
has it ever he achieved anything or shifted anything in the past. Does it lead to actual change and action in the real world.
What are some of the negatives.
Being extremely distracted.
Unable to focus and concentrate on other thoughts and activities.
Living in the past comma
living in the future, that pretty much living anywhere apart from the actual present.
a sense of disengagement with the Here and Now Now is very common.
Actual consequences of not being able to focus. i e don’t get tasks or completed don’t do things because they seem too big or too complex or overwhelming etc. don’t do things because it takes so long to actually think about them that you never get round to doing the action itself.
Having the idea that we only have to do a bit more, think a bit more and will get that insight that we are desperately seeking. doing evaluation of your life and thinking and see how often you’re thinking about fingers leads to genuine action or change in in how you function in the real world
significantly overvaluing the value of thinking.
not setting any time limits I’m doing it full stop
continuing to doing doing
being convinced that a pointment can be reached where everything’s slots into place.
magical thinking believing that it’s going to take you somewhere are and everything will suddenly will suddenly make sense. however this is very very rarely the actual case.
ways to manage.
set aside certain times to allow yourself to think and process things.
Only allow it to speak to play a Small Part in your day-to-day life rather than become dominant and overwhelming.
making active use of techniques that manage and diminish overthinking rather than just allowing it to flow as and how you think it needs to
for instance one limitation is that we can only ever see things from our own limited life experience and perspective
if you’re struggling with something you’re probably far better off having a conversation with somebody and listening and accepting what they’re saying to you and seeing a different viewpoint than attempting to to formulate this based on your own knowledge and experience
that is always going to be the limiting factor.
And bear in mind, if you have quite rigid ways of seeing the world and thinking then your capacity to develop new perspectives and new ideas is likely to be very very limited.
so therefore the idea of you trying to build something without any of the prerequisite skills required to do that.
that is also magical thinking.
What about having thinking that is actually structured in a particular way rather than just free-flowing.
in other words if something has happened in your life think about
what did I experience
how did I feel,
how am I reacting to this
how would I choose to react to this
what would be a better way to manage this
what would be a better way to deal with this situation is there a better way and also put TN of the things into their place in other words if somebody has as80 due for instance at a party can you refrain that thinking can you you see it from different perspectives aside from your own.
Think about the nature of decision-making and the difficulties in making decisions and Positive Action particularly if you are lacking self esteem.
think about the Lighthouse approach which some people have of managing other people and being real people where they either shine Bright Young them absolutely or when the light turns away then literally leave people in the dark and almost ignore them it’s part of the psychological splitting process.
Think about the nature of blame and responsibility and how they are always like a posing forces
if you’re blaming then you’ll never take the responsibility if you take responsibility and you don’t blame.
It’s her get out of jail free card type thing
think about how we formulate our priorities and this becomes one of the difference between people and sense the priorities for one person can be so very different to priorities for somebody else.
For instance, in a relationship, the priority for the wife might be having childrenwhereas for the husband it might be having a new car
the same thing are on our day-to-day basis some like with Claire her priority is to dress well and be seen to be dressing well my priority is to be a much better person with fuel concerns about one of the people think.
How much of something do you need to be to believe that you are that kind of person.
In other words if you spend time being kind to animals does that then make you a good person and how much through determination how much are something you have to do before you can ascribe that to yourself in the words if you listen to one person in a compassionate way to you then tell yourself but this is the kind of person wrong.
This relates to the cognitive dissonance that people appeared to have cognitive dissonance hello hello hello particularly in relation to how they see themselves and how they believe they engage with and relate to the world
how can people seem to be so very wrong in terms of how they come across and the Theatre of the people compared to how they compare or believe themselves to be. Interesting train of thought it’s the way that we construct our images and perceptions of our self and yet very often other people would describe three different characteristics chisos we ascribe to ourselves how do we hold onto the perceptions particularly if it’s in the face of conflict our environment is effectively refuting our beliefs about ourselves. What q,wQhappens if you’re using a therapeutic approach that is designed to effect change and set up a new new set of behaviour patterns and then a reinforcement system that then exactly reinforces and you behaviourlq
How
The difference between personal problems and broader systems issues……are these just a distraction…
Note your values and principles do not necessarily need to reflect those of your society, or the people around you. However if they don’t, you are likely to be isolated
You would be expected to adhere to social norms whatever your internal belief structure.
These could however be very different depending upon your particular group. I.e. in some groups, aggression and violence is the social norm, in others mysoginy.
Just because these may be generally unnaceptable doesn’t mean they won’t be held, and shared by other groups in society.Value judgements re people and their values
You can still have friends, support, and even a community around you who will probably share your principles and values
Think of trans and gay cultures
Think of how cultures deliberately isolate themselves from others in order to resist any change of their norms and core values
What about BPD forums here dysfunctional behaviour is being validated as its own normal
Comparisons with society’s norms
Consider the concept of normal behaviours in various situations and settings
I.e. how would you expect someone to behave in those settings, and then compare this with my experience of how people actually do behave
Create a list of scenario’s to illustrate this
Create a list of behavioural attributes that would not be considered normal, or acceptable in various settings
Various scenario’s
The adult son of a woman is meeting, and having dinner with her new partner. They have not met before
What would be normal in that setting
Being curious and interested in her new partner
Being disinterested
Speaking at great length about your own life and interests
Ignoring the new partner completely
Who should make the effort to establish communication
Should responsibility fall on one person, or another
How much would you expect a person to reveal about themselves
What is appropriate sharing
How would the shape of the conversation be expected to be
I.e. would it flow between parties, or would one person dominate
You’re in a business meeting
One person will always explain the implications for their own department at any given opportunity
This will always prolong the meeting unnecessarily causing frustration for the other parties
How do we model good communication
Point out the manner in which people can change their behaviours in different settings, and with different people demonstrates an awareness of these social norms, and an ability to comply with them when chosen to
I.e. teenager, aggressive and hostile with parents, but entirely appropriate with wider family, other settings etc
demonstrate how people are making choices about their behaviour, and therefore there are powerful elements of control
How awareness of actions and behaviour can be very selective
Think about how others around are likely to respond to certain types of behaviour
Develop scenarios to illustrate these
I.e. becoming quiet during an interaction
Being snappy and irritable
What is the impact of this upon others
What does it reinforce in you
How do behaviours create self reinforcement cycles
This is great when the behaviours are healthy
Not so when they are not
Trajectory…what is a likely life Trajectory based on current life
Respect for others. Being respectful takes many forms. And evidence of lack of respect also takes many forms…..
You Don’t build self esteem or confidence from a conversation
It takes a long time, effort and commitment
Concept of opposing arguments
Demonstrate how any situation could be perceived in two completely different ways, but where clearly, only one of them could be true
So with Samba the idea that he has failed everybody he’s let people to hang, people are just being nice to his face but don’t really believe he’s a nice person.
the opposing version of this is that he actually is a genuinely nice person, people do see a side of him that they like and is very rewarding and most of the people that he knows would like to help and support him during this difficult time.
both these opposing ideas can’t be correct, although you could find some middle ground by taking elements of both to find a midpoint.
Pixel mapping concept of mental health
Or element theory of MH
The whole picture comprises a vast multitude of elements which create the whole of the image. If bit’s are wrong, it can make the whole picture wrong…..
What meaningful advice could you give someone in just 2 words?
Have you heard of the “So That” Test?
If you haven’t heard of it, then these two words might just change your ambitions and goals.
Right now, think of something you want from your life: A loving spouse, wealth, healthy children, work success; it doesn’t matter what it is, just think of something.
Got it?
Let’s say you want to become wealthy
Why? No one wants green paper just to collect it.
It’s time to take the “So That” test.
You want to become wealthy so that…
You can buy your children what they need to flourish.
So that…
Your children will grow up to reach their full potential.
By questioning your goals, you uncover your true motives. By uncovering your true motives, you realise there are alternate routes to reaching those goals.
Maybe you don’t enjoy work, and it would be more worthwhile to exchange your overtime earnings for quality time with your children. Quality time that is far more valuable to their development than a little more money.
You might also discover that you enjoy this time with your children much more than working overtime.
By applying the “So That” test, you can discover paths to your goals that you had never thought exist.
Always question your motives.
You spend a lifetime pursuing them, so why not a few minutes to make sure you’re going in the right direction?
“So that”… the rest is up to you.
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If you have
The ideas that you have have already created your perfect world which has within it a feedback loop that reinforces you support you as a person and reinforces everything you think and believe about yourself and how you see the world and in some ways this is the entire problem everything about your world will often reinforce what you see definitely you feeling happy pu3 mean that some element often a small element of that world has started to unravel or has become overwhelming in some way and you no longer have the resources to deal with it. There is however a good possibility and the rest of your environment is effectively self-sustaining for you that’s why you’re in it and if you’re an adult that’s why you spent your entire life creating. This also applies if you’re in a situation which doesn’t appear to be of your creation I living with parents you know have relationships and family that are hostile and abusive va will stop they are still your world and your life and your connection to them is continuing to maintain the world you that they will I’ve have put there in the first place
So the concept of change on some level after being braced because otherwise nothing will change what do you do if you change your environment to change yourself to change the people around you to change yourself do you change the people around you, or do you change it yourself.
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